I was playing hockey and (crazy, if you would have told me I’d be playing hockey 6 months ago, I would have laughed – quit drinking, start living) I got tripped from behind. My back hit the ice which slingshotted my head into the ice: wham! All thoughts erased in an instant. Headache, mental fog, dizzy, ears ringing, where am I? Not here. I really got my bell rung, 2 days later I still feel the effects, maybe I shouldn’t play hockey tonight. Nah, still playing (dumb, I know).
As I think about it, feeling the effects of a slight concussion or at least a good bell-ringing, I can’t help but think getting a good head whack/concussion is what PTSD episodes feel like, what trauma feels like. Complete overwhelm at the same time as a complete erase of all things. Dizzy, ears ringing, unstable psyche, slight headache, “thick” thoughts that can’t be held onto, dissociation.
what do I do in these moments? It’s like the reversal of the old saying “Don’t just stand there, do something!” But instead, “don’t just do something, stand there.” We often have to keep doing something, move, solve, what’s next?” Well, for now, give that part of the brain a break and just be, let your brain find its stability, let your life find its stability after really bad news, trauma, disaster, let it be before trying to solve it. Time is a beautiful monster, don’t fight it, it wins. But it also heals, so let it.
When life really rocks you, when life concusses you, if you aren’t in danger or have to move quick, stop, don’t just do something to do something, stand there. Recharge, reset, to reengage.